Originally Posted on the AV Connexions Blog By Arlene Vasquez Washburn
You may have heard by now that a friend set up Meghan Markle on a blind date. That blind date turned out to be royalty, and now she’s the Duchess of Sussex.
The thing about blind dates is that they don’t always need to be a shot in the dark. You see, most people who are single seem to shy away from telling anyone. For some reason, people associate a feeling of shame about being single. I don’t get it–if you’re excited about buying a house, a boat or a car you’ll talk to anyone who will listen. But, for some reason, people don’t get excited to talk about finding a relationship.
I can go into a whole discussion about mindset and how that alone can keep you single. But for this topic, let’s talk about what you need to do to lessen the amount of time it will take you to meet the one by turning everyone into your matchmaker.
Why do all the work? Let your friends, family, and even your acquaintances be the matchmakers who set you up on plenty of blind dates. Keep an open heart, open mind, and if you follow these tips for getting the right matches, your friends, family and even coworkers can help you find your prince or princess.
For starters let’s get these seven keys in motion!
- Get clear on what’s a good match for you. If you’ve chosen the wrong partners in the past, you need to break the cycle. You can figure out how to make better partner choices by working with the right relationship expert to guide you along the way. Don’t assume that all therapists can help you, a dating coach or someone with an ability in relationships is your best choice, they may even help you clear up some of your relationship blind spots. The point here is if you’re going to tell people to set you up, you’ll need to be fully aware of what’s the right partner for you. You should be able to describe your match with your friends.
- Let everyone you meet know that you’re single and open to getting introduced to anyone who is recommended by a friend. Making sure your friends feel free to suggest making an introduction is in your best interest.
- Communicate with your friends what your critical core values are. Sometimes conversations are so superficial between friends, but at times it’s good for your friends to know what’s important to you. Whether it’s religion, family values, or trustworthiness, inform your friends so they can do the due diligence on your behalf to find you a great match.
- Make sure that your potential matchmakers know about your deal-breakers. For some, it may be visible tattoos, cheaters, drug users or alcoholics; whatever the case may be, be sure to let them know what you consider important. Keep in mind; this should not be an endless laundry list– 5 deal breakers tops!
- Is there a particular look that you prefer? Maybe there’s a celebrity that’s a good example of what you find attractive; that’s always helpful, but be realistic.
- Make sure that your ideal match will also find you attractive. Sometimes, people are single because they have very unrealistic expectations. If you want to meet someone who is not critical, you shouldn’t be critical. And the science shows that couples who are of equal levels of attractiveness are more likely to succeed. For that matter, opposites DO NOT attract, but that’s a topic for another day.
- You should always mention the qualities that make you a great partner. Let’s face it if people have only seen you single they may not know how you interact when you’re with a significant other. Take the time to let them know who you are in a relationship.
Put as many people to work for you as possible. When it comes to love and to find the right partner, there should be no shame to your game. Remember everyone you meet get’s you one step closer to THE ONE!